Ties and jeans

These men are capable of going on and on about how getting married, or tying the knot, is equivalent to tightening a noose around your neck and so on. I can't help but wonder why they don't feel the same about wearing a tie. Now that is a noose. I mean, literally a noose.

How many times I have wanted to strangle nasty men with their own ties. Just one pull, and watch their faces going red, blue, purple. I still nurture the dream of tying this particular chap to the coffee machine with his tie, or trap the tie between the doors of the lift.

Now would probably be a good time to assert that I dislike ties. Absolutely abhor them. They just doesn't serve any purpose, are mostly ghastly in colours and designs, and make a perfectly respectable guy look funny. Why do people wear it at all? There is a nice Malayalam expression that quite describes how ridiculous the tie looks, but I don't want to mention it here :) Anyway, the only reasonable explanation I ever got in favour of a tie was that you could use it to wipe your mouth after eating.

While we are on the subject of clothing, have you tried shopping for jeans recently? Women are getting a raw deal, I say. Search all you want, but the only kind of jeans you will find are "low-cut flare". Which means if you wear them, there will be precious little covering your behind, but metres of cloth flapping around your ankles.

Where are those perfect, normal jeans? If you don't want the low-cut-flare types, your only choice is the uni-sex jeans, which are actually just the men's jeans. And to say they are bad fits will be putting it very mildly.

What happened to the right to choice? Isn't there a right like that? I want my normal jeans, and I want them in normal shades of blue. Not the ragged ones, not the sequined or beaded ones, just plain, normal and blue.